A Menu Mystery

Last night we had a tasty dinner at my neighborhood Mongolian barbeque spot.

We ordered Vegetarian Wontons as a starter.

They were not bad.

However, instead of an appetizer, it was four small wontons atop a large salad....and the wontons were samosas....other than that, the description was spot on!

The Fine Line between Hoarder and Expat

The world is increasingly global....I can now find some of my favorite Thai food products in the store in Germany and I can buy Cheerios worldwide. But i can't find sugar-free Jello in Germany, and my Cheerios cost $8 per box in Bangkok. While you can buy marshmallow fluff and Pop Tarts in the grocery store, most American products have a 50-100% markup in Germany and it's a bit of a craps shoot as to freshness.

Travel takes on new dimensions when you live abroad. It becomes not only a chance to see family and friends, but also a chance to stock up on the essentials.  It's an eye-opening experience to discover about yourself (or others) what really is "essential."  This revelation came to me almost 10 years ago in a Dallas Sam's Club, pushing a large cart full of dinner napkins, jelly beans, tampons, Cheerios, Sudafed and Skoal. An odd combination of things that we couldn't buy in Bangkok, or the local products were such poor imitations as to be unsuitable substitutes. But I had a list of things I and friends and colleagues needed, and "random" is the only word that captures it.

At the time, our company allowed us one huge shipment per year. I made some big orders from drugstore.com and asked my parents to box up some other things, including napkins, paper towels (non-existent there at the time), cereal, and Mac & Cheese. Dad very kindly did that and more, sending two entire flats of paper towels from Sam's and I think 27 boxes of cereal.... Those paper towels had a long world journey, to Bangkok, back to Dallas and then to Germany, where I finally used the last roll a few months ago!

It was great having a few important comforts of home, but my walk-in pantry in Bangkok was neck-high in paper towels and cereal, and boxes of shampoo, hair products, lotion, etc.

When I moved to Germany from Dallas, I was a bit wiser and packed from the start things I thought I'd need. This time it was great products like Lysol Kitchen Wipes, single-serve pita chips and Nabisco 100 Calorie Snack Packs....and lots of random stuff the movers packed up from the kitchen. Including boxes of toiletries (and the paper towels) remaining from living in Thailand.

The pita chips and Snack Packs didn't last long (Stacy's Pita Chips in Sea Salt, how could they last???), but I've found myself reversing course in the past year...trying to use up everything rather than accumulate more. I've used up almost all of the things left from Bangkok and am down to just 2 boxes of things from the move here. But still the closet has a couple containers of Lysol wipes, Dryel, Lubriderm lotion (doesn't burn on just-shaved legs!), and tasty low-carb protein shakes.

These days it's more about buying the things that are super expensive here...mostly clothes and shoes, English books, and DVDs. And only a few of the other essentials that do not exist here....Chocolate Chips, real vanilla extract, sugar free jello, cheap tissue tees from Target, those disposable toilet cleaner things, and warm clothes for the long winter. Winter hiking pants for $25 at Target or €100+ in Munich? Not much of a contest!

I've made major progress using up the stockpiles, but it's still a fight not to (over)stock up on goods while home for the holidays. There is just so much available and the prices much lower. Luckily the increasingly strict airline baggage policies and the European apartments' lack of storage space help combat that urge and keep from crossing the line into hoarder territory.

Gag Gift Season

OK, Christmas is over.  The season of giving is gone, but that means the end of some holiday stress too, so it's not all bad.  We usually want Christmas gifts to be heartfelt and thoughtful -- hence not knowing what to get someone, the ensuing procrastination, and eventual panic attack on Christmas Eve in the mall with 20,000 other shoppers.  Luckily, other holidays & occasions throughout the year (e.g., birthdays, office events) actually can be more fun for the giver... especially when involving gag gifts.  So now that we're in 2011 it's time to prepare some prank presents for your loved (hated?) ones this year!

You know that person who loves his/her cups o' joe, yet repeatedly claim "I'm addicted to coffee, I need to cut down"?  Riiight.  This is for them.

Empty, the toilet coffee cup has a charm of its own.  But fill it with a light brown liquid and it reaches a higher plane.

The 12-ounce size doesn't discourage consumption, but think of the "plop" sounds when sugar cubes are dropped in...

For your resident Twilight or Trublood freak, forget the movie posters.  Give 'em what they think they really want: a fake IV bag with drinkable "blood".  The seller says it's "energy drink" inside (vs. fruit punch flavored sugar water?).  But do we really want to give crazy Edward/Jacob fans more energy?  Why not put cherry Nyquill in there???

Heck, make the gift a full six-pack of fake Type B!  But watch the reaction very closely... your vampire wanna-be just might enjoy the experience a bit too much.  The seller says you can heat up the product to "enhance the experience"... that's a bit scary, huh?

So fake blood is passe?  Let's up the ante a bit.  Who wants a scorpion pop!  Yup, these treats contain an honest-to-goodness crunchy arachnid inside.  Every bit (technically) is fit for human consumption, and they come in assorted flavors and scorpion species!

The seller's ad copy is funny:  "Since we believe in truth in advertising, someone at Stupid.com had to actually eat one so we could describe it properly. The boss was elected since he's the only one with health benefits. Though it is hard to describe, we CAN tell you that it DOESN'T taste like chicken."  Alternate uses could be:  fraternity pledge requirements, fraternity dares, heck, anything involving intoxicated fraternity guys.

Let's get back to a classic gift:  the wall calendar!  You can find them with adorable dogs, Ansel Adams photos, city skylines... but wouldn't your friends rather have Her Majesty's Prisons of England adorn the cubicle?  Each month has a photo of "twelve stupendous slammers including four bonus Welsh nicks".  This is, after all, "England's fastest growing industry".  Love the UK humor.

You may also choose from the more pedestrian "Best of British Roundabouts" & "The Birmingham Outer Circle 11 Bus Route" calendars (on the same web page).  Other options are the Extraordinary Chickens calendar, or the 2011 Bunny Suicides Calendar (the illustrator needs anti-depressants, I think.)

Finally, for your old buddy who thinks he's the next Tiger Woods (perhaps in more ways than one), it's time for him to man up.  It's time to tee off using camouflage golf balls.

It's a new idea on the trick golf balls that explode on impact or won't roll straight when putted.  Unfortunately, it's the most fun when used on people that find it the least funny... know what I mean?

Signs of the Apocalypse

Farmville for Dummies:

Available February 2011 (or for preorder on Amazon)

Sadly, this will probably sell a million copies. Though I didn't realize Facebook games needed 288 pages of instructions and strategy...

 Ed Hardy Crossstitch:

I'm just perplexed by this one. When I make a mental Venn diagram of people who cross stitch and people who like Ed Hardy, I just see two circles with a lot of space between them. Maybe Grandma is cross stitching Ed Hardy as a gift for the grandkids??? I just can't wrap my head around how this product works.  Ed Hardy does have some beautiful designs, but that is unfortunately overshadowed by who adopted the shirts and hats as their daily wardrobe.

Cool Gingerbread Houses

I'm inspired to try some modern gingerbread houses next year. Or maybe for a Christmas in July party?

Falling Water Gingerbread House:

via Quilting Craft Gossip 

The Wedge House:

via ArchDaily 

Fenway Park: 

Notre Dame: 

National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception (Washington, DC):

 
I love the icicles...they remind me of the ones on St Bart's in New York after Christmas. 

 via MightyGirl

St. Basil's on Red Square: (I think...)

via BuzzFeed

And, while not a building, the Gingerbread Serenity is pretty clever!

via Geekosystem

Update on Friday, January 14, 2011 at 15:28 by Frau A

And then there's the original gingerbread house...the one the witch built to trap Hansel and Gretl. I never quite made that connection until I saw these gingerbread houses in Nürnberg. Not only do they have a picture of the old lady inviting a boy and girl in, they're even labeled "Hexenhaus," which means "Witch's House."

 

Gummi Bear Performance Art

Even better than the video is the first comment, which says "I think Kim Jong Il has heard this and now wants a Third World War"

 

Snow Man In A Glass

We're headed from snowy Munich to relatively warmer Charleston for Christmas....these reusable ice cubes just seem appropriate.

Happy Holidays, wherever you are!

via Edible Crafts, available at PerpetualKid